This week’s Gallery theme over at Sticky Fingers is entitled Self Portrait – a daunting idea in itself!
As with so many first time parents, we have taken sooooo many photos of Burton since he was born which is a lovely collection of memories. Among the huge collection are some which feature me as well but I have found it hard liking the image of myself looking back at me because I felt self conscious of my new body image. As with any Mummy I am sure I am not alone in not relishing my new shape completely, most days it does not bother me but every now and then, especially when I have struggled to fit into some of my old clothes, I have felt a little fed up. Hence, seeing myself in photos and indeed posing for photos has been hard sometimes.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not meaning to sound vain and I know that I am silly for feeling this way because in the bigger scheme of things it is very trivial. I am also not doing this to get lots of comments to make me feel better about myself – I am just trying to explain how I have felt and still do feel every now and then. I am sure I am not alone on this.
However, thanks to this weeks Gallery, I have gone back through all of the photos that have been taken over the last 10 months with a more positive approach and I can honestly admit that a couple of photos which I thought I hated of myself I now like. I also wish now that I had had more taken with Burton because not that many of the two of us were taken really, as I avoided the camera so much! I now regret that very much.
I have also noticed that I have no recent photos of just me – so my entries this week are of me holding Burton as I have no true ‘Self Portraits’ of myself by myself.
Burton and I when he was 1 hour old (I had been awake for 48 hours at this point!)
Burton and me when he was about 2 weeks old (feeling so, so tired!)
Me and Burton when he was about 6 weeks old (Daddy wanted to test out some new camera equipment so we had to ‘pose’)
Most recent photo of the 2 of us – taken back in March which is too long for the last photo of us together to have been taken. Even here I am trying to avoid looking at the camera!
One of my favourite photos of me and my boy taken in feb which some of you may have seen on my twitter profile – and look I am smiling and looking at the camera!! (but then I am hidden under my big coat and had just had my hair cut!)
So thank you for making me revisit the photos and realise that I should not hide these photos anymore! I am also going to make sure that from now on more photos are taken with ME in them .
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Thank you xx