This is the day that daddy held Burton for the very first time.
The first time he held his own child. His first born. His pride and joy. A tender moment between father and son.
I like to think he was as proud and as besotted with our baby as I was that Wednesday morning, only a short while after he arrived in our lives. It’s hard to know with him because he rarely displays any emotion. He is the strong silent type I guess and keeps everything inside and doesn’t give much away (unlike me!)
As a daddy-to be, he wasn’t what I had hoped for. I blogged about this before.
The only thing which kept me going and gave me hope that all would be ok once our baby was born was what I continually told him : you will feel differently as soon as you see him or her and hold him or her in your arms, and look into his or hers eyes.
I guess having seen TV and film portrayals of men during the birth of their children, maybe my expectations were set too high? I had wondered if my strong silent man might even shed a small tear upon seeing his baby born. Maybe he did while I wasn’t looking? I will never know. Certainly I have seen him have tears since, whenever Burton has been really ill. Having a baby does change people and I think that since Burton was born, Daddy has become more emotionally vulnerable. I know I have – I am an emotional wreck at the best of times!
He loves both boys very much and would do anything for them and this is plain to see. It makes me happy to see how proud he is of his children.
What I do know is this: from the first moment he held Burton in his arms he changed. He became a ‘Daddy’, he grew up and faced his new role and was full of love and pride for his first born. He loved Burton from the first moment they met.
This photo epitomises my man becoming a daddy.
This was the day that happened.
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Thank you xx
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wonderful and moving post. It’s so hard for them to ‘get’ the pregnancy thing. I remember tottering in heels and working till 37 weeks and everyone thinking I was so hard core. He didn’t seem to think that I should be doing it any differently…but then, mind you, I’m not one for just ‘getting on with it’ and not say anything so he must have thought that pregnancy meant double nagging, bless him
Great post, Aaron also doesn’t do excited, and seems to have been less interested in this pregnancy. I borrowed my friends doppler the other day and asked him if he wanted to hear the heartbeat and he said ‘No, I’ve heard it’ (at the scan) he’s also not been interested in feeling the baby kicking, saying he felt Leo so he knows what it’s like.
In a emotional moment it upset me then I realised. like Jon it doesn’t mean he won’t be interested when he arrives.
I can feel your pain. I fell pregnant at 18 unexpectedly as I was on the pill. I had been with my partner 4yrs already but he didn’t want to be a dad. I was going through with the pregnancy with or without him and felt Id probably end up single too. That didnt happen for nearly 4 more years though when Minxy was 2 and Jamster 10m.
Lovely pic x
Awwww, what a lovely post Jenny. I do think the whole pregnancy/labour thing is quite tough on daddies. They don’t really know how to react and feel, and they don’t have all those hormones telling them to bond and nest and love that baby straight away. I think it’s just more of a slow burning thing for them. And like you say becoming a parent can’t help but make you vulnerable, and there isn’t anything I like watching more than my hubby being all soft over our little man. X
Wow, amazing post. Very honest and shows your journey together. I have a silent type too. Everything is always “fine” and it mostly drives me up the wall. I am the chatty one and batter non stop… Then ask if he’s even listening. It’s lovely how babies change men isn’t it? Those moments you catch them gazing at baby and when they’re playing together.
Lovely post Jenny. I think a lot of men struggle to get into the excitement of pregnancy, I guess because its going on inside our bodies and not theirs…its probably just harder for them to relate to what us girls go through while we are carrying.
Lovely photo xxx
Oh Jenny that is a very moving post and very brave to write about it! It can be different for men as they don’t have the same connection with a baby until its born but that must have been so tough for you. I’m glad there is a happy ending though xx
Gosh – wow – that really is an emotion-laden post.
I think that a lot of man are just scared. Scared of the responsibility parenting brings, they wonder if they will make the grade. It must be hard to go through that, but great that things are wonderful now.
Oh Jenny you’ve done it again. I’m crying. Every week with your Gallery post you make me cry.
Such a lovely post and I’m glad that things changed once the boys arrived xx
Great post, and something I can really appreciate and empathise with. My Mr left me 2 days after our 12 week scan and 4 weeks before our wedding as he simply couldn’t get his head around everything. We worked things out in time for the birth, but for weeks after I was terrified he would leave if Isaac was too much hassle for him and basically took everything on myself- I may as well have been a single mother…
He’s coming round now that his son can interact- he simply dotes on his daddy, it was his first word and when he gets home from work it’s like I’m not even there. They are bonding, it’s just taken time. However, he doesn’t want anymore children, so I know if I fall pregnant again he isn’t going to be best pleased, and the silence and egg shells will return.
Thankyou for sharing, and I’m so glad that things have worked out for you 🙂 xx
This is a honest and very emotional post Jenny- thank you for sharing. I have said it on your previous post, but I am sorry that you had to have that pressure in your pregnancy. However the fact that your husband is now a father and a daddy is wonderful- it is true children change people, mostly for the better. You can now be thankful how much he loves his boys.
Mr E’s Dad run out on him when he was 2, and he hasn’t seen him since. Some men can be shitty and aren’t born to be fathers- you are lucky that your hubby is one of the good ones, sometimes I just think maybe they can’t relate until that baby is there in their arms. xxx
Gorgeous photo and lovely post. We didn’t really get excited with my first pregnancy but for different reasons (I’d had 3 miscarriages before) so we remained pretty neutral until he finally arrived!
Oh bloody hell! Pass the tissues!
I am so glad that it has all turned out the way you wanted x
What an emotional post! Lump in my throat here. Glad it’s all worked out for you. (also love the name Burton. If I have another boy it’s my top name of choice!) x
Oh my goodness I would have buckled during the 9 months , you are a very strong character/ xx
Cricky. Heart wrenching stuff. I’m glad it all worked out for you. Great post.
This is a fabulous post and I hope that when Mr. Mummy Mishaps reads it he realises that you’re showing how good a daddy he is. Having met him and seen your family together I can truthfully say he’s an excellent daddy and very hands on with the boys. It might have taken him a while to realise it, but being a dad has been good for him. Beautiful photo where his pride and love shows through. Well written Jenny 🙂
Oh Jenny, beautiful post. He does look like the besotted Dad xx
Such a beautiful post. Hugs x
Lovely post, tried to comment yesterday but it wouldn’t let me! Looks like it is working (again lol) It must be hard for blokes to get their head around the idea of a baby actually coming cause they can’t feel everything liks us mums can. Heck I struggled to get my head around being pregnant and it being real until I could feel the baby moving! He looks like he is a great dad and he sounds like a great day too!
Such a beautiful post, hun. I’m glad that holding his baby boy changed Jon’s attitude towards fatherhood x
Love this post – had a very similar experience with my OH and your post really resonated with me. but it all turns out good in the end. X
I can’t imagine what it must have been like dealing with all this when you were pregnant, but I’m so glad all turned out well in the end and now you are a big, happy family with so much love that is obvious in all your posts/pictures x
it was tough at the time but as you say it all turned out ok in the end. thank you for commenting xx
thanks Gemma and (hugs) to you for having to go through a similar experience. i am glad it all turned out well for you xx
thanks Carolin and yes me too 🙂 x
i think i had too many expectations of how I thought a man should react when told about becoming a father !!! thanks for your comment x
thank you lovely lady xx
thanks Emma, he certainly is x
thank you. i am indeed showing him off as a loving dad to our boys and how much things can change with time and a newborn x
thanks very much! i am too x
i guess i was, i had to be for our baby. thanks lovely x
thank you 🙂
its a great name isnt it? we love it very much too xx
sorry – tis a bit emotional!!! thanks i am too x
thank you. i am sorry for the sadness you had to experience before your baby was born and completely understandable why you would be so apprehensive during your pregnancy. i am very pleased and happy for you that he came into your life x
thanks Katie. i never knew that about your Mr E, what a shitty thing his dad did . i cannot believe, having experienced parenthood, how anyone can abandon their child/children. as you say, some people aren’t born to be parents . no wonder your wonderful hubby is an amazing daddy to Mads and partner to you xx
sorry Lauren i dont mean to – honestly!! thanks for your comment and so am i x
gosh Natalie i am so sorry your Mr M put you through all that but i am so pleased it has worked out and he is now a doting daddy. it must be hard for you now though especially if you do want another child knowing how he was with the first one, but would he leave knowing now what having a child is like? what an emotional predicament for you though (hugs) xx x
i think you are right Jenny. thank you x
oh no !!!! i am sorry you and the children had to go through that. must have been very hard xx
yes is a bit!!! but thank you for commenting x
yes Mama you are probably right , i guess its hard for them to get excited when all the hormones and the baby is growing in us women!! thank you for commenting x
thanks Lucy. you make a lot of sense xx
i remember you saying before that Aaron was a bit unemotional with your pregnancy last time round. my OH was the same with Jenson about no need to feel my tummy because he had done it with B!!! men!! i think some men – like ours – are just not very good at showing how they feel x x
thank you . i think it is harder for men because they dont wear their emotions on their sleeve!! xx