Although I don’t go as often as I would (hmmm maybe that ought to read as I should!) like to or as often as I once did before I had children, I do end up going swimming with the boys and Jon once a week or once a fortnight depending on what else is happening at the weekend. Of course it isn’t proper swimming, as I am holding one of the children but I get wet!!
Now I have never been one who has felt comfortable in her swimming costume – I have always dreaded the ‘walk of wobble’ as I make my way from the changing rooms into the pool. I know from when I am in the pool, that I watch people entering the water, so I know that people will be doing the same as I do it too. Many a time I have held my head high, sucked my stomach right in and almost walked along on my tip toe to make myself look as slim as is ‘Jennyly’ possible! Once I get in the water it’s fine and I swim along quite happily not worrying about what I look like, well apart from the black eye liner which usually forms around my eyes as it never seems to completely remove itself from me when I wipe my eyes clean before I go swimming!
Of course getting out of the pool is also awful, because my bottom is always highlighted as I climb the steps to get out!! I always check I don’t have a wedgey before I begin my exit of course – I wouldn’t want to make an already bad situation even worse!! And there is NO way that I would ever leave the pool by hoisting myself out via the pool ledge – for one thing I dont’ have the upper arm strength (as I have tried and failed miserably before) but even if I could manage to do that, instead of looking graceful as I clambered out – I would probably look like a floundering whale
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| getting out of the swimming pool without using the steps was not a good look for me! |
and end up with my cossie stuck where the sun don’t shine revealing too much flesh that is best saved for my bathroom!
Since having two babies I dread being seen in my swimming attire even more – its not that I look particularly large, I mean I am a size 14 and I have had two children and I am in my mid *ahem* ok higher mid 30’s, so my figure isn’t what it once was – fact! I have never had the best shaped legs either, I guess that at least when I was younger I had less wobble, less cellulite, less stretch marks and my skin wasn’t so pale as it is now (not that tanned skin is better for you of course, but I spent more time outdoors when I was younger, and being tanned gave me more confidence).
Maybe the Victorian’s got it right with these cover everything up costumes!
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| swim wear which was very rock and roll! |
But do you know what? Something I just can’t fathom, is when I see other mums post baby. You know the ones I mean – those who have amazing figures still, with flat stomachs (and I don’t even think they need to suck it all in either!) most of them wearing bikinis! Bikinis I tell you! I don’t know if I will ever have the confidence to wear one of those again! And yes I am jealous of their trimness, and I am sure if I ate a lot less cake and exercised more I could look better, before anyone else gets that in before me! But these women seem to pop a baby out and then suddenly they have their post baby figures back in a flash!
How!?? How do they do it??
The thing is, I honestly think there are just some women who always manage to look good when going for a swim. Their hair is held up on their head in a neat pretty way – whereas I just scrape mine back any-o-how as long as it is out of contact with the water I don’t really care too much how it looks – and they wear earrings, I expect they keep on top of their hair removal – I mean I will be honest I have been swimming with slight leg stubble and the whole time I am hoping no one will be able to notice! And – oh yes – and they don’t have mascara running down their cheeks!
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| if only…….!! |
Mind you I used to think this about other women who were in exercise classes or at the gym alongside me. I would be there in my unco-ordinating leisure wear, hair tied up any-o-how again, bright red slightly sweaty face, and not looking especially attractive. Yet there would be ladies there who again wore make up, without a hair out of place and looking very…… well…. gorgeous! How do they do it??
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| yeah they really look like they are working out don’t they?! |
Maybe there exists this unique breed of women who are just born to look good in any given situation, who remain unflustered and are able to look amazing even when exercising!! I wish I knew their secret!
If you are one of these ‘elite’ ladies then please feel free to reveal your secrets in the comments box below!!
(images borrowed from google)
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Thank you xx
Thank you xx
genius post!! made me laugh out loud! simply genius! no other words for it!
Hahahaha. All I can say!
Lol! I hear you! x
Ah, you found the photo of me getting out the pool then *ahem* I do think it odd when people wear bikinis to indoor pools. Between my friends there is a big range of shapes/sizes and stretch marks – all the mums are gorgeous but none of them perfect if you know what I mean and we all just wear bikinis and get on with it but otherwise we end up with big white bellies!. I’m really really hoping my belly survives the pregnancy without TOO much damage!
My advice – stop worrying about it, I’m sure there is much worse around 🙂
Brilliant post! If you find out the secret let me know but I think I’ll always be a member of the uncoordinated brigade! Life is too short!(that’s my excuse anyway!)
I feel exactly the same!!!!!
But but… You’re bloody gorgeous!! Unless you are air brushing your pics before you put them up? I laughed so much at the stubble thing, I do exactly that!! even if I tried sucking In my belly wouldn’t be flat, bah!!
Oh i do so agree, off to center parcs in 2 weeks and im dreading the pool!!!
Oh yes that’s me…..no not the immaculate ladies, the beached whale!
I’m sure the amazing ones feel insecure too. My hubby is really thin and he hates going swimming for the same reason. I try to hold a small child in front of me and get in the water as soon as possible. Once in no one can see you anyway.
I have to admit that I do still wear a bikini and was pretty lucky after having my little man. I didn’t go back to being exactly the same as before, but I’m in a body that while wobblier and bumpier than before, is in okay shape.
But I still walk very tall with my bottom and tummy tensed and tucked in on that walk to the pool. And I’m always very glad to get in the water. And as for getting out again, well I don’t think it’s possible to carry a baby out of the pool and look as skinny and glamourous as one would like, when you have migrating make-up, bad hair, a baby threatening to undo your straps at any moment and the terrifying post swim wedgy. I’m pretty sure that even a model would look rotten in those circumstances. Hehehe. X
Oh Mummy Mishaps, love your post! As you can see from my last post over on my blog, I can sooo sympathise with you. But, I’m a few (well…ok, prob around a decade) older than you so I have more of an excuse to moan and whinge about my flabby arse and cankles! Lol. But you know what one SAHD said to me while we were walking our dogs around the park? He said “The most attractive thing about a woman to a man is….enthusiasm!” Then again…I’ve been married 20 years, so haven’t even got much of that either! Keep up the swimming! x
Their secret, lovely Jenny, is that they are only 17 and think about nothing other than leg shaving and body moisturising for most of the day 😉 We, on the other hand are worldly-wise, savvy women, who have seen and done life – and we look it!
I know, those women are a strange unexplained breed – I agree with Actually Mummy, I think they must have a lot of time on their hands for general maintenance and spending time in the gym. How very dull! x
I don’t get why some women come to the pool in a full face of make up and hair done and then proceed to just bob in the water never sinking below chest line. God forbid their child splashes them…hehehe I often think about sending Wee Z to jump in right beside them…!
This post had me in fits. Hilarious and so so true – unfortunately 😉
wise words from a very savvy lady 🙂 x
yes how dull indeed – i like that explanation 🙂 x
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