15 Comments

  1. caro_mad

    Funny, you have written that post. We’ve just been discussing this topic in my baby group and I can clearly say that at the moment all I want to do in the bedroom is sleep. Also, I feel exactly like you. I just wouldn’t feel comfortable doing it with Amy right next to me… xxx

  2. Well done Jen on being so honest, it is a very difficult topic to discuss and so honestly.  It is an awkward situation for most Mum’s post-delivery and is usually far at the back of their minds.  I like your suggestion of putting a bit of fun back in the relationship before jumping on each other, give each other some time and attention, it doesnt need to be full blown sexual intercourse, just a bit of intimacy between you again.  I’m not aware of any studies that demonstrate that babies are mentally scared by their parents having sex whilst they are in the room, but understand why it would be strange to do so.  Why not try a bit of flirting and getting to feel comfortable with each others bodies again first, then see what happens! 😉  Good luck, love, Kxxx

  3. Jennypaulin

    Thanks for yor comment my gorgeous friend. Looking forward to seeing you soon xx

  4. Mcai7td3

    Maybe dating would be fun and a step towards romance and intimacy. I worried alot about resilience and, because of a c section, the umm, damage it could do possibly! You are sooo right though, when you’re kmackered from night feeds and got a new baby you just want to sleep!

  5. Hlvaux

    Super to read such honesty. I’ve got the same things going through my head – it’s made me feel so much better. I’m not a frigid freak after all!!! (Thank god for patient partners. Hey, it will be worth the wait!)

  6. Bless you sweetie. We’ve all been there! I have said that when Ella was removed from my womb, a switch was flipped and I went into Mummy mode…I have forgotten the sexual side of me that really used to love sex. I never thought it was possible. But it is!
    I think you and hubby need to reconnect in other ways so you can feel less like MUMMY and more like Jenny. You’ll get there but you’ve got to feel ready totally yourself instead of forcing it to happen.
    And a big old hug to you too… xx
    Karin

  7. Mummyandthebeastie

    Great post and no doubt rings true with most people! Quite simply men are made of different stuff than us and sex isn’t the same for us as it is for them, put a baby (or 2) in the equation and it changes even more. I reckon you need to add a little bit of romance, maybe a date night (if you can) and start that way. I too don’t know how people are back at it a couple of weeks after birth, eeeek! xx

  8. Jennypaulin

    Thank you for takingthe time to comment. I think it’s a fairly common issue if everyone was totally honest xx

  9. Jennypaulin

    Thanks for taking themtime to comment Karin. I have just read your latest linky post – romance is needed isn’t in relationships to step outside of being mummy and daddy and be me and him again. As you say, things will change I am sure but just not yet
    Thanks for the hug too xxx

  10. Minty aka waterbirthplease

    Brilliantly honest post – I do admire you. And I’d spell it out to him! “Right, just so’s you know, this will NOT end in sex, but can we just snuggle up and have a snog or two tonight?” Small steps . . .

  11. Jennypaulin

    It’s true although he isn’t pressurising me just a comment, for now! Am sure things will all work out ok in th end – just not yet . Thanks for your comment xx

  12. Jennypaulin

    Thanks and for commenting. I don’t remember the last time we snogged lol but yes little steps would be bettr. Still all .good things will come, eventually, to those who wait xx

  13. Mummyandthebeastie

    Ha ha I know it’s the subtle comments! just remember though you have a lot on your plate. You could do it once and that would tide you over for a few months, he he 🙂 xx

  14. Jennypaulin

    True or at least release him in some way *ahem* 😉 as you say, that might give me a bit longer!! Xx

  15. Following on from what I said in my last post….! When I was pregnant I had a bit of a realisation. It made  me want to have sex really badly, especially towards the end by which point Dad2BabyInsomniac didn’t want to have sex because he was worried it was going to poke Iyla in the head! I can remember lying there one night wanting to have so badly and just thinking how bad it must have been for him when I kept rejecting him all the time. I was so angry and frustrated! 
    So how it works for us is that a third of the time I agree happily, a third of the I say I’m too tired and a third of the time I moan a bit before giving in. Sometimes it feel like a bit of a chore but I look at it like the hoovering – don’t always feel like doing it but once I get started I enjoy it! Oh and if you think your guy is unromantic, mine asks me if I want to ‘get my pants off!’. xx

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