A Moment To Reflect (#Ordinary Moment)

As I am sure we all do, I often wonder what my boys will look like as they grow older. As older boys, teenagers and then young men. It is not that I want to wish time away as it is doing a good job of that by itself, as how we are edging near the end of April already I have no idea!!! It is just scary how quickly time has been whizzing along since I became a Mummy almost 5 years ago now. It is like I am on some kind of life rollecoaster ride which is going along at super sonic speed, and I would like to jump off and let life slow the heck down please!!

Anyway, as I was saying I do often wonder what kind of men my boys will become and asides from hoping they will be handsome and kind, healthy and happy, thoughtful and hard working I also hope that they will be there for one another and be good friends and remain close. I really hope that their relationship with one another will be strong and special, just as I hope theirs will still be with me and with their future girlfriends/wives and children.

On Saturday we took the boys to a wedding vow renewal service of some friends of my OH. Of course we made sure Burton and Jenson were dressed up smart and after the service, while the photos were being taken I managed to take one of the boys while they were sat still and while they still looked reasonably clean and tidy (by this point Jenson had already managed to scuff his shoes in the dusty gravel!).IMG_1661

Look how grown up they both look here!!!

Burton especially looks older than 4 here I think, and when I look at this photo today and see him dressed in his little linen shirt, waistcoat and trousers, a mini informal suit if you like, I feel like I have had a little glimpse into their future. My heart swells with motherly pride when I see how handsome and smart they look here (Yes I am very biased I know!), and I just hope they will always make me feel this way.

I have to admit that this year has given me a whole load of new and hard challenges as a Mummy, in particular with Burton but with Jenson at times too. There have been times when I have felt I let them down, aswell as feeling let down by them and their behaviour, and maybe not as proud of them as I would like to be, indeed want to be. I have also not felt especially proud of the way I have dealt with situations and that I probably could have done much better.

However, looking at them here I just love them so much and they may not be angels or perfectly behaved but they are mine and I am so glad and thankful that they are. This post does not flow well as I don’t know if I have managed to convey what I feel inside, but this photo does make me feel proud of them .I also feel proud of myself for managing to bring up two beautiful and happy boys, even if it is bloody hard going most of the time!!!  I find it hard to believe that I helped create these two little human beings – I mean it is just amazing really when I stop to think about it.

 It is a photo like this, taken as part of a wonderful half term which we have enjoyed and made so many happy memories during, which reminds me of why I wanted to be a mummy, and which makes me know why it is all worth it in the end.

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11 Comments

  1. Aww bless them that photo is so sweet!
    I like this post to me it feels like you really used it to vent how you were feeling! I think all of us parents can relate to wanting things to slow down a little!! I know for sure that there are things I have done with Arthur that I wish I had done differently (probably on a daily basis!) but we all try our best :)
    X

    April 21, 2014
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  2. They are who they are living souls full of fun , you guide them in their journey xx

    April 21, 2014
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  3. said:

    Believe me, I know the time whizzes by. Each year brings different challenges and before you know it they’re adults. Hopefully we do a good job and they turn out to be individuals that we can be proud of. In the short time I’ve been following your blog, I can already see such changes in your boys. I think you’re doing pretty well.

    April 21, 2014
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  4. The time goes so fast doesn’t it? And I sort of know what you mean about swelling with pride as you stop to look at them. The photo is lovely and they do look so grown-up. As they become more and more of themselves you can’t help but feel proud of your part in that. It is amazing isn’t it, when you think of when you first held them to now (I am thinking of Mushroom too now of course)!

    April 21, 2014
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  5. said:

    They are very handsome little boys! I’m sure they will make continue to make you a proud mama x

    April 21, 2014
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  6. They are gorgeous and look very grown up in the photo. I get the feelings you describe with Mads often, we are going through a funny stage here. Ultimately I am so proud of her but I think parenting is always going to have it’s parts where you feel like you aren’t doing a good job. x

    April 21, 2014
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  7. Honestly Jenny, no child is perfect and they can all be challenging at times. You are doing a fabulous job and your boys are just gorgeous. I’m sure you’re right and that they will be very handsome and smart men too. I gave up on trying to be the perfect mum a while back. I’m sure we are all just muddling through and when you are happy and confident you’re doing a great job they move the goalposts! Xxxx

    April 21, 2014
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  8. I have seen this blog entry showing the skills and what your child should be doing in 15months. I was surprise to realized how far ago it was and how my kid is now.. well a kid, a little boy. Like you I also am wondering, thinking whats going to happen in the future. Hows its going to be. I am excited. I so want to be there and see him grow and I am lucky to be the mother of this boy no matter how quirky he is =P #OrdinaryMoments

    April 22, 2014
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  9. I never understood when people said time goes so fast, but I understand now as my daughter is growing up. We go from one emotion to another as a parent and not always positive. The fact that you wonder and look back makes you a better parent.

    April 22, 2014
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  10. I love this photo of them, they are both gorgeous and you should be proud of them! I know what you mean, I have days (weeks!) were I feel I can’t take Lucas out the house I’m so worried about his behaviour and then in turn how I handle it. I guess we all feel the same but it always passes, just had a brilliant week with him when I wonder what I was worrying about! You obviously always do so much for your boys, they will be lovely men when they grow up xx

    April 26, 2014
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  11. said:

    Oh Jenny you haven’t let them down at all. I know I’ve said it before but this whole parenting thing is about learning, none of us are experts and we deal with situations when we face them, we can’t prepare for how we will cope or react. The only thing we can do is to learn from those moments incase the same thing happens again.
    I think our boys are VERY similar. I’m having a few challenges with Harry at the moment and it’s so hard. I do blame myself sometimes (totally contradicting myself there I know).
    I think moments like the ones above really remind us of what and who our boys are, and help us to see their innocence and just how small and cute they are…yet also how big they are getting.
    Your boys are really so handsome, and I’m not just saying that. You are doing an amazing job with them. You should be proud.
    xx
    Sorry for the essay x

    April 27, 2014
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