Four years ago today, I looked like this
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| 4th July, 2009 |
It was a Saturday night and I was heavily pregnant with my first child. I had finished work that afternoon ready to start my maternity leave and my first baby was due on July 14th. The photo was taken at my surprise baby shower which my friends and work colleagues had managed to arrange and keep from me.
Four years ago today I was excited about meeting my unborn baby. Would it be a boy or a girl? Throughout my pregnancy I thought it would be a boy, I remember having dreams where I gave birth to a boy. I think you do have a way of knowing the sex when you are pregnant. Like a sixth sense maybe. The mum of one of my members of staff did the ring test on me, and according to her it was a boy. I was also all out the front which I have been told means a boy. This is why I am so glad I didn’t find out the sex of my baby, I loved it when people would give me their theory on what I was carrying.
Four years ago today I was not too worried about how painful my labour would be any more. I had been throughout most of my pregnancy, but as I neared the end I was starting to worry more about how I would actually cope with a newborn baby and was I actually cut out to be a mummy. Carrying it around for 9 months was easy really, but suddenly I had started to panic that I was going to be responsible for anther human being and that this little baby would be relying on me totally, and in fact as a parent he or she would be reliant on me forever really. That kind of freaked me about a little as I was worried that maybe I would not be able to cope with being a mummy or would not know what to do or how to do it.
Four years ago today I would never imagine how much love you can have for your child. Throughout my pregnancy I felt protective of the life growing inside me, but I am not sure if I loved my unborn baby. I mean I cared for it, felt protective of it but a surge of love I am not sure. That sounds heartless probably but honestly, that’s kind of how I felt. Some women say “I loved my baby from the first moment I found out I was pregnant” but I am not sure if the love I felt when I first held Burton was how I felt throughout the 9 months of carrying him inside me. However, I know I did as soon as I held him in my arms for the first time after giving birth to him. The love, well it was over whelming and *that* feeling is unimaginable until you experience it yourself. I heard so many different stories from other Mums about their labours and the pain and the pushing, the pain relief and the swearing BUT it is nothing like you imagine because there is nothing else like it. It is unique, surreal and painful, but in a good way of course, and amazing.
Four years ago today I would never have imagined how fast the life of my first born will have passed by already. Four years of nurturing and caring for this amazing person I helped to create and bring up. Lots of tears and laughter and lessons learnt along the way too, but it has been a blast and the most wonderful and magical experience I have ever had the privilege to be a part of.
Four years – its just a blinking of an eye really.
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Thank you xx
Thank you xx
Lovely story and love the first picture.
For us it seemed the 9 months went really slowly but the past 5 years have flown past.
thanks Darren. i agree the first i would say 6 months went by slowly and then the last 3 of my pregnancy sped up! but as you say, nothing compared to how fast time goes by once they are here with us. x x
Lovely post! You have such a neat little bump. I loved all the ways to try and predict what sex you’d be having. I used the chinese gender prediction calendar and it was right both times x
AHhhh you look lovely with the bump! I just had a gut instinct that I was having a boy, I really agree with the sixth sense thing! You always look like a complete pro mummy to me doing so much with both your boys! 🙂
What a lovely post. You look fab xx
This is beautiful Jenny x
Lovely post – enjoy every second xoxo
It is so true that nothing could prepare you for labour and what it’s like, it is 100% unique, and I think unique for each individual as well.
I felt the same about having a surprise about the gender of my babies too. I wouldn’t have missed out on everyone’s theories and predictions for anything. x
I know what you mean about not being sure whilst pregnant, I loved that I was pregnant and growing a life, I knew I would love the baby and I loved the life that was inside me. What I was never prepared for was the rush and the physical bond forever.