I have never been very good at managing my finances. I have never earned a high salary in all my working life to date, and I would always run out of money before the next payment was due in my bank account. I would end up having to put my grocery bills on my credit card so I could afford to eat. It wasn’t that I lived the high life either and was leading a life of excess, I was merely just trying to live, to survive to make my way and pay my bills.
I was also far too generous probably with my money. Always helping out friends, offering to pay for things when I couldn’t really afford to. When I was with my ex and we shared a house, I was the one on the higher (even though it was crap!) wage and would have all the main bills come out of my account via direct debit. Or pay for a holiday on my credit card. I never asked for anything back, because I always believe that when you are in a committed relationship, what is mine is yours and vice versa.
Banks and shops were only too happy to offer me loans and credit and store cards and I took them. Even as a student I had store cards yet didn’t really have any means of repaying them consistently. I worked during the holidays – I have always worked (up until I had Burton)- and would save money to see me though my university years as I didn’t get any grants as such. So knowing I could have things and not have to have to worry about having the cash there and then was perfect!
On August 6th, 2010 I was made officially bankrupt – it was my choice (not that I had any other really!) to do so and I blogged about it that day. I think my words still ring true today, and apologies if you have read this before, but I am going to share that post again, because I think, indeed I hope, it might help anyone who finds themselves in the same situation I did
I am officially bankrupt.
There I have said it on print for my blog – the first time I have heard myself say it.
I am not writing this post to brag about it or show off, because although I am actually relieved to be on my way to becoming debt free, it is also mixed with a touch of regret and emotion because it is not a nice thing to admit to either. Afterall the stigma that used to be attached to bankruptcy has gone now, and I should therefore not feel ashamed. However, despite this I have not yet told some of my family members!
No, I am sharing this because I know I am not alone with having large uncontrollable debts, that I have no way of paying back and nowadays bankruptcy is very common. I just thought that if anyone reading this is contemplating it themselves then maybe I can help them to make the decision and go for it.
According to the Ministry of Justice during the first quarter of 2010:
*the number of individual bankruptcy petitions made by creditors (to whom the debt is owed) was 4,329
*the number of individual bankruptcy petitions made by debtors (the person who owes the debt) was 16348
My bankruptcy was voluntary. In a nutshell, before I had Burton I owned and ran my own business (a cafe) and although it did ok I never really made a decent wage for myself and due to a VAT error and borrowing from the bank I just could not make it financially viable anymore. I sold the business at the end of last year for less than I bought it in the end because I was a new Mum and just wanted to get out and start afresh as soon as I could. Truth be told I should have gone bankrupt a couple of years ago, but in true Jenny style, I struggled on not wanting to lay my staff off, hoping it would all be ok in the end! Hmmm!! I worked my arse off, as you do when it’s your own business, rarely taking time off and with notable exceptions working 6 days a week even up until 10 days before I had Burton! So yeah there is also a little bit of frustration that I lost money and owed so much by the end as I worked so hard for 5 1/2 years for so little return.
Anyway, after months and months of worry (spanning about 3 years), having no nails (yes all these years of worry has made me have no nails!), visits to my local CAB and, more recently, letters and phone calls from debt collectors I have made the step to becoming debt free. I know there is still a way to go yet, but there is light at the end of the tunnel at last!
While waiting to see the judge and speak to a receiver today, I thought to myself that going bankrupt is NOT the end of the world and at the end of the day I have something far more important to worry and think about now and that is what IS important. When I got home my little boy gave me the best hugs and squeezes a mummy could possible ask for – he is my future whether bankrupt or not and he is the most important thing in my life.
I received quite a few supportive comments for that post which were very welcome and appreciated. I hadn’t been blogging that long when I decided announce this news on my blog, so I was touched by how nice people were. I was also amazed by the comments by those who had found themselves in a similar position to me, and hadn’t yet taken the next step to clearing their debts and making a fresh start.
Another thing I couldn’t add to that post back in August 2010, was that while I was sat waiting to be seen by the judge, my period was late and I knew then that I was pregnant again and despite feeling anxious about my impending bankruptcy, I was hopeful that I had another life inside of me to help me to make a fresh start, another baby to welcome to my family and a sibling for my Burton.
I hope that when I eventually start working again and earning some money I will manage it better. I must and I am sure I will. i won’t make the same mistakes; I won’t accept a credit or store card ever again. I don’t care what anyone says, its VERY easy to get out of control with your finances and get into a debt rut with no way out. When I think back over the years as to how much money I borrowed and spent it is scary and stupid. I wanted to be independent – financially and as a young woman who had left home and wanted a flat to rent and all the things that go with that.
I made my choices.
I put myself into such debt
But it was also my choice to end it and declare myself bankrupt and I am so pleased not to be worrying about my debts anymore.
I made my new start and wiped my slate clean – it was a hard lesson to learn but I am grateful to have come out the other side.
If you have debt problems I can recommend contacting:
your local CAB http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/
National Debt Helpline http://www.nationaldebtline.co.uk/
who are there for you to offer free and confidential advice
Don’t wait for your debts to mount up out of control – take the plunge and sort them out 🙂
I am linking this up to Flashback Friday where the theme is NEW START
If you would like to read more about my mummy mishaps please subscribe by email or via RSS feed 🙂
Thank you xx
Thank you xx
It is so brave of you to be honest about what happened to you buy great that you can be because yes it is soo easy to get out of control with debts. We have lots of debts and I am pretty much responsible for them and I have lost a lot of sleep over it as now we are really struggling now!
A very honest post, Jenny. Thanks for sharing. Have a great weekend. xx
Really good post, we dont have credit cards or an overdraft now either……way too easy to spend money…..we’ve been there before and it wasnt a good place to be, feel so much better knowing the money we’ve got coming in now (even if its not massive amounts) is ours (well after paying out the bills etc)……and we know where we stand at the end of every month…..a much nicer feeling 🙂
well done for doing this Jenny & for sharing it with others. It’s all too easy to get into debt as credit is so easy to get hold of. Thankfully I’m quite good & pay off the credit card every month. that’s not to say I’m not tempted to go out & buy new things every month…I just try to stay away from the shops as much as possible!
x
What a muppet. Don’t feel too bad though, Greece is in exactly the same situation.
That’s an eye opening post. Thanks for sharing it. My husband is wanting to set up his own business and it really freaks me out! Well done for getting through it x x
What a brave and honest post. Thank you for sharing and so pleased so many positives come out of something which is difficult to do. x
I too became bankrupt in April 2011 after struggling for many many years for the exact same.reasons as you apart from I didn’t own my own business. I have worked full time since I was 18 but like you got sucked into every credit agreement I was offered. It was only when I had my baby I realised I had to do something to stop struggling month to month. It was by far the best thing I did even though I was very ashamed, in fact until now no one except my other half knows. I can look to a future out of debt now which is a very.strange but liberating feeling. The only downside is I am unsure what the future holds for me in respect of the bankruptcy. For instance if I one day want too join my OH on the mortgage but we will have to see. I am just enjoying not being under the immense stress and strain we have constantly been under for many years. Well done to you for this post
I remember reading this at the time and it’s a brilliant and honest post. Great idea to link it up for this weeks Flashback.
Well done on working to get debt free… I went through a bad spell just after Uni and it’s a butting scary because you’re getting letters very regularly and it can all feel v claustrophobic! This post will inspire others, it can be so daunting to actually take that step!
Thank you for your comment ,
It is easy and scary to get in to a mess with financial matters and i spent years borrowing to clear cards only to do it all iver again! Xx
I really respect you for being so honest about your bankruptcy. Not only being honest about it here and bravely sharing it with us all, but for taking that step at the time and realising that something needed to be done.
I also love that you realised your period was late that same day. Certainly puts a happy twist on a horrible day xx
thanks Lauren. I don’t see it as something to be ashamed about, and i think had i been more honest sooner with my family about my state of affairs, then maybe i wouldn’t have got myself into such trouble!!
and it was keeping me going that day knowing that my period was late x
thanks Emma , i thought it was appropriate too x
thanks lovely, i think it s good to share experiences as you never know it might help someone else who finds themselves in a similar financial situation x
thank you. it was mostly due to a VAT error which i couldnt repay so i am sure your hubby will be fine. x
thanks Helen. i didn’t spend my credit card on stupid stuff it was mostly petrol and food!! only exception was a holiday!!! it was the VAT error which got me into big financial trouble xx
VAT scares me…thankfully I’m below the threshold & I hope it stays that way really!! x
Such a brilliant post, I was declared bankrupt in Oct 2009, as I waited for the judge on my own I was 7 months pregnant and embarrsed, most of the world do not know I was declared BR, I am still hugely ashamed by it, but no I had no choice, I lost my house, everything, because of some silly mistakes and always trying to work hard and do my best I ended up in a HUGE amount of debt, I still hate that I did it, I can’t now buy a home to help Grayson and I feel like an awful parent, but it was the best decision, it finally meant I wasn’t sick every night with worry.
I applaud you on posting this x
I think this is a great post, I got into a mess with money about six years ago. I will write a post about it and link to you as it’s a bit much to explain in a comment but I think banks need to stop making it so easy to get credit cards and I also think schools need to do more to teach how to budget properly. Luckily my debts aren’t too huge and I am paying them off at a fairly low amount each month but it’s rubbish that my stupid mistakes mean that I have a terrible credit rating and will probably never be able to get a mortgage. Really think people need to raise awareness of debt through blogging and stop it being such a taboo subject 🙂 xx
thank you very much and you too x
Thanks so much for commenting – that took some courage to make it public here. I was lucky that at the time of my bankruptcy I had sold my house a few years earlier , although I lost my new car! Please don’t think you are a bad mummy, I think you are a wonderful one because ou faced up to things and sorted out your debt. I think after five years our slates are wiped clean aren’t they? So one day I think we can get our credit ratings better for a mortgage one day. At least I thought that was what my CAB person told me.
If you no longer feel sick with worry, as I dId too, now then it WAS the right thing to have done and I applaud you too for going ahead and making yourself debt free. Xxx
What a brutally honest post that I hope will help others if they happen to be in the same situation.
It does annoy me though that you have had to take this step because of a VAT error that I assume resulted in you owing VAT to the very uncaring VAT man. I have had many dealings with this special breed of person & really feel that they should be spending their time going after the individuals & companies who purposefully avoid paying VAT rather than the individual that made an innocent mistake.
They go for the easy “kills” instead of the harder investigations that would bring in so much more unpaid taxes.
Sorry for my rant.
That was a very inspiring story! I’m
sure that people who are in the same situation would find hope through your
post. And you are correct; being bankrupt or filing for bankruptcy is not the
end of the world. It may be overwhelming to deal with, but when you accept the
situation and seek help, half of the problem is solved. It may be a little
late, but congratulations on that bundle of joy who serves as your lucky charm!
If you still want some advice
regarding bankruptcy, maybe be this site could help: http://utah-bankruptcy.org/about-salt-lake-city-bankruptcy-attorney-utah
That was a very inspiring story! I’m
sure that people who are in the same situation would find hope through your
post. And you are correct; being bankrupt or filing for bankruptcy is not the
end of the world. It may be overwhelming to deal with, but when you accept the
situation and seek help, half of the problem is solved. It may be a little
late, but congratulations on that bundle of joy who serves as your lucky charm!
If you still want some advice
regarding bankruptcy, maybe be this site could help:
http://utah-bankruptcy.org/about-salt-lake-city-bankruptcy-attorney-utah
There are some instances that we make unnecessary mistakes, and the situation you’ve encountered may be one of them. The things that had happened may serve as a lesson for all of us readers. However, it’s a good thing that you’ve managed to overcome it. Filing for bankruptcy may cost you to lose hope, and may cause you to be on panic mode. Asking for the help from your family members could solve that and/or seeking for assistance can help you cope up with the situation.
http://www.paddonyorke.com/financial-health-checkup/bankruptcy-in-ontario-other-options/
Face the reality and move
on! Nothing’s wrong in filing for bankruptcy, it’s just a way of admitting that
you are in a financial crisis. At least now, you’ve learned your lessons that
generosity is different from over spending. Anyway, I hope you’ll be able to surpass
this as soon as possible.
http://www.torontobankruptcyadvice.com/debt-management-services/
I think the most crucial thing you did here is you didn’t
ignore the problem. In one way or another, we all have debts. The problem
arises when we don’t try to find a way to pay them back. Filing for bankruptcy
is nothing to be ashamed of, and so was getting help. I hope you’re doing well
now, Jenny. Continue to improve your finances, even in little ways. If you have
a debt, pay it off slowly. It might take time, but you know you are reducing
the amount owed, at the very least. 🙂
http://www.torontobankruptcyadvice.com/
I admire you for having the courage
to admit that you’re bankrupt. It’s certainly the first step if you want to be
debt-free. And admitting it is not an embarrassing thing to do. There are
people, even known people, who openly declare bankruptcy because they know that
it’s a way for them to start a new life. So, how are you doing now?
@Allan
Morais
I was recommended this blog by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post
is written by him as no one else know such detailed about
my problem. You’re incredible! Thanks!
Have a look at my blog – united kingdom search engine Optimisation company