So after the surprising success of Burton’s first session at nursery, where he didn’t cry or refuse to stay without me, I took him this week feeling much calmer than I did last Monday. I did wonder if he might falter at some point in the future, like if he was feeling a little off colour, resulting in him complaining at having to stay, or maybe cry that he wanted to come home with me. But after spending every day since his first session talking about nursery and telling him that it was only so many days until he would go again, with him seeming excited about returning I didn’t think he would ‘falter’ quite so soon.
On the journey to Ladybirds, the name of the nursery, I spoke to him about his day ahead (well, all four hours of it!) and what he might have for lunch and he was in good spirits. even walking from the car to the nursery entrance he was babbling away and most of all – happy.
However, when Catherine (his assigned key worker) opened the door to us he just stood there and wouldn’t enter the building. After a few minutes I did manage to coax him in but he just stood by the main door not sure about what to do next, and not taking his coat off. At this point, I realised that leaving him was not going to be easy, and what I had dreaded happening last week on his first visit was going to happen now! *sighs heavily*
Thoughts started running through my head:
how was I going to be strong enough to walk away if he started crying?
how I was I going to be strong enough NOT to cry myself in front of him if he did cry?
how would i persuade him to stay if he made it clear that he didn’t want to?
how was I going to be strong enough to walk away if he started crying?
how I was I going to be strong enough NOT to cry myself in front of him if he did cry?
how would i persuade him to stay if he made it clear that he didn’t want to?
I managed to persuade him to go to the little cloakroom to hang up his bag and coat and I took Shadow, his little toy dog, out for him to cuddle. Then I took a deep breath and told him I was going now and that I would be back to pick him up after lunch. Straight away his little face was crestfallen and he was pointing and shaking his head and saying he wanted me to stay. I told him I had to go back home to see to Jenson (who was napping when we left, Daddy works from home) and that he had exciting things to do. Then I spied the quivering bottom lip which made tears form in my eyes and made my heart sink. I explained again that I had to go and he started whimpering so I hugged him and said I would see him soon and Catherine stepped in and picked him up to look out of the window, and I had to walk away hearing him cry, not very loudly, and say “no, no mummy!” – I felt sick but I knew I had to keep walking out of that building and get into my car and drive home.
Funnily enough I didn’t cry like I did last week, but I felt REALLY guilty. I felt guilty because I didn’t send him to Ladybirds to be sad and miserable but to have a fun time and interact and be happy. Catherine called me an hour after I got home to tell me that he was very quiet and just wanted to sit and be cuddled and have The Hungry Caterpillar read to him. She asked me what I wanted to do and I said that I wanted him to stay (although my heart was saying different!) and I would return at 2pm. I knew that if I collected him early this week he might think that if he cried when I left that I would always go back and get him. I still felt guilty though.
Still, when I returned at 2pm I was pleased to see him up and about and playing with some toys and apparently he had livened up just before lunchtime and although he didn’t want to go outside to play, which is in complete contrast to last week, he was happier and had interacted more. I felt a bit less guilty then, and proud of Burton for overcoming his unhappiness and to me for not caving in and not making him stay for the whole of his allotted time.
This week his report card read as follows:
Burton was tearful for the first hour today but sharing stories helped to settle him (especially The Hungry Caterpillar which we did 4 times!). We then found a fire engine toy which cheered him up! he didn’t eat much lunch but seems to really enjoy his yogurt for pudding!
After lunch, Burton really enjoyed playing with the animals – he stood them all up in a line and spent a long time exploring them all.
The other strange revelation is about his so called friend, ‘Jordan’. After last week’s attendance I asked him if he had made any friends and he mentioned a girl called Lilly and a boy called Jordan. At least I thought thats what he said as when I repeated the name back to him, he said yes Jordan (well sounds more like Dawden when he says it but thats toddler speak for you!). So all last week me, daddy and his grandparents have been talking to him about nursery and his new friend ‘Jordan’ who apparently has yellow hair and blue eyes and isn’t quite as tall as Burton! Well when I arrived at Ladybirds this Monday, I asked Catherine about Jordan and she said there isn’t anyone by that name! So I told her how Burton had described this ‘Jordan’ and asked if there were any other boys with a smiler sunning name and she said no!
So when I collected Burton on Monday I asked who he had played with and he said ‘Jordan’ and I said that there was no boy called that and he said “yes there is mummy, he’s my friend”!!! So what does this mean?
Has Burton got an imaginary friend?
Or did he just pronounce the name of his actual new friend wrong?
Its weird – although apparently ‘Jordan’ was in Jenson’s cot on Tuesday afternoon and then came downstairs for tea!!!
Goodness knows whats going on there!!
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Thank you xx
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Awww his new imaginary friend! Too cute. Little M doesn’t have one yet but I remember when he would talk about his classmates and I had to decode the funny pronunciations. He is getting so big. I hope they aren’t giving you too much trouble! I this year we are able to add to the family 🙂
Thanks Maria although not sure of he is imaginary or I misheard the name he gave me originally! I will be investigating!
It will be lovely for you to have a little brother or sister for your gorgeous little blogger 🙂 good luckmwith it all xx
Ahhh, you and Buryon did brilliantly! It’s always harder after the first time as they realise you are going to leave them. It’s great he got over it as the day went on though 🙂 I’ll be interested to hear whether Dawden is real or not! 🙂 xx
aww it’s so hard when they cry..Jack did it his second week too. I do hope Burton manages to settle soon, although I did find that they seem to settle better if they go more often…Hanna never did take to nursery once a week & I had to stop in the end. Jack loves going 3 times a week & cries if it’s a non school day!
You did well keeping it together! xx
Aww bless him, I would have cried. I’m such a big wimp, haha. I’m sure you only got the name wrong and if it’s an imaginative friend, who cares? They grow out of it so quickly. My sister had one LOL
Well done you for staying strong, that is not an easy thing to do. I read this during the night and really felt for you. It is hard when they cry but usually once you are away they are fine. I’m so not looking forward to Tyler starting next month. You should be very proud of both of you. And loving Burton’s new friend. x
Well done for staying strong sweetie, its so not easy. He will get used to it and have lots of fun! I had an imaginary friend for years and the Doctor told my Mum it was the sign of a good imagination. My parents have lots of funny stories about him x
I know it must be hard and I’m waiting for the day when The Boy protests. You handled it absolutly brilliantly, I’m not sure I’d have had the strength!
thank you – it was awful i hate seeing him upset and knowing that normally it would be me cuddling and comforting him. i hope the Boy never cries for you when you leave him x
Thanks Karen. He is a lot more clingy to me at the moment I fear it may take a few nursery sessions until he settles from the outset x
thank you. i did find it hard but i know i had to leave him or he will never get used to it. x
i think its funny that he might have an imaginary friend and find it sweet! i will investigate further on monday though x
thanks Helen – it was really hard to walk away. he is being really clingy to me again at the moment and nursery hasn’t helped ! still he does enjoy it eventually so i just have to tell myself that x
thanks Lindsey, i am glad he over came it too in the end. i am definitely going to investigate “Dawden’ some more! x
Aww glad it went ok. If its any help Kayleigh had what i thought was an imaginary friend called Jordan but it turned out she was trying to say children.
It gets easier i promise 🙂
ohhhh lol i wonder if that was what he had been trying to say and because I said Jordan he said yes, we kept talking about him and so his ‘friend’ became Jordan! make sense now you have said it. i will ask him to say children tomorrow.
thanks Paula, i hope so because its hard x
Little Miss G cries every single time I leave her at the creche (for 2 hours), but I then spy on her through the window and see her having a great time. When I pick her up she runs away and wants to keep on playing, which tells me she likes it after all. btw, I love that Burton has an imaginary friend, so very cute! My friend’s little 3 yr old girl has had one for months, his name is Jolly and he likes to run around naked. She tells you about it in details which I think it’s hilarious!
oh no they really know how to tug at our heart strings don’t they? Little monkeys!!
I think its cute too – if it imaginary or real or whether i just got the wrong end of the stick and he was talking about something completely different!
Your friends 3yr old and her Jolly is hilarious!! what imaginations they have x
Fingers crossed it sorts itself out. Its always so hard leaving them but you are doing it for all the right reasons x
Awww his imaginary friend sounds so cute although I never thought that started so young! Hopefully next week will be easier in nursery for him. He sounds like he does enjoy it a lot once he’s settled in, it’s just parting from you that’s hard for him but I’m sure there’ll come a point where he just runs to his toys and friends.