Burton is starting nursery on Monday (tomorrow).
There is a statement I didn’t think I would hear myself say for at least another 6 months!
His daddy and I (me more reluctantly, I hasten to add) have decided that attending a nursery for 4 hours a week will give him some extra stimulation; some more social interaction with his peers and a chance to do things that we havent yet done like messy play with paints. These reasons are good and positive ones for him to attend, but I cant help but feel a little guilty as his mummy that I have somehow failed him because surely he should be gaining these skills whilst in my care? I never wanted him to start going out to nursery until he was at least three, and now it is happening tomorrow.
I am fully aware that since Jenson came along I havent been able to dedicate the same kind of time and attention on Burton that I once did. It’s just not possible. That sounds like a cop out but it really isn’t. He is bright and learns things very quickly, and he is also demanding of my attention because he wants to do activities with me and he is keen – very keen – to learn new things. I try my best to ensure that when Jenson goes down for a nap that I spend that time actively playing with Burton and showing him new things. However, once his brother is awake I can’t dedicate my time to him as much because then Jenson wants my attention too, and somehow amidst all of this I still need to organise meals and all the other usual Mummy duties.
I actually feel guilty towards both my children.
- Burton – because he wants to learn so much more the I am able to teach him due to the time we have together on our own. Before Jenson we did so much more together, obviously, but I did know that by having a smaller age gaps between my children this would be one of the downsides.
- Jenson – because he doesnt get the one on one time that I gave Burton for the first 19 months of his life, but then he does benefit from observing his big brother and playing with him. He is learning skills by copying – something which Burton didn’t do because he was an only child at the time.
- I also feel bad because we have never attended a regular playgroup so Burton (or Jenson now) has never had the opportunity to make new little friends or have that regular playtime at a dedicated place which caters for little people in terms of activities and toys.
- Also since last December owing to Jenson being ill on and off we haven’t gone out and about as I would like to. Then with me also being poorly last week I wasn’t able to leave the house because of my eye sight being too bad! I try to make up for this when we are all back to full health, but it doesnt make me feel any better that we have been stuck indoors so much.
So it is with a heavy heart that I agreed that Burton should attend nursery. I know it is a great opportunity for him and he will learn lots and thrive and it is all good practise for when he starts nursery more regularly at some point in the not-so-distant-future. It will also be nice for Jenson and I to have a few hours where we can play and read stores together without big brother taking over!
Of course I am dreading tomorrow – the dropping him off at Ladybirds (the name of the nursery). We went to visit it last week to look around and he was quite taken with it, and actually wanted to stay and play once it was time for us to leave. All his family have been asking him where he will be going Monday and he has replied “Ladybirds”. I have talked to him about asking to use the potty when he needs to go. I have bought him a rucksack to take and some new wells – all with his name on which he thought was funny. When he has asked if (baby) Jenson and I will be there too I have told him we can’t because Mummy is too big and Jenson is too small. He seems ok with this but I am not sure how he will react when I do have to leave him tomorrow. I could stay with him and watch him settle in from afar on his first day, but I said I wouldn’t because I don’t want him to think I will stay each time he visits, and it is important that he realises that Ladybirds is for HIM and not Mummy and his brother.
*Sighs* but I worry that he might get upset which will make me upset and I know I must stay strong.
I know that many children attend nursery or daycare of some type from a much younger age than what Burton is now, and that Mums (and dads) go through what I am feeling all the time, but that doesn’t make it easier for me to handle.
My little boy is growing up and there is nothing I can to to prevent him doing so, and I know I have to let him go little by little – but I wish I didn’t have to just yet.
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| how does this happen so fast? |
Wish me (and him) luck – I think I am going to need it at 10am tomorrow.
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Thank you xx
Thank you xx
Best of luck for tomorrow. I’m going to have to do this with my little man in a few months (he’ll be about 8 months old then) and I’m dreading it. I’m sure your little boy will be ok – I used to nursery nurse and even those children that howl when Mummy/Daddy leave are usually very happy after a relatively short while xx
Aaahh bless you, he will have so much fun and it will be really good for him. Try not to get upset or beat yourself up you are doing a great job and you have two gorgeous happy little boys xxx
Thank you Karen – thats all i want him to do is to have fun and enjoy himself! I just hope he wont get upset when i leave xx
thank you for commenting. you are probably right – i am sure he will be ok (fingers crosse). gosh i don’t blame you for dreading your little man going – its so sad that our time with them goes by so quickly. xx
Good luck tomorrow. He will love it so much I bet!! You haven’t let him down in any way at all. He is getting older and wants to explore so much more. You are doing the right thing and I would do exactly the same. I already look at z and wonder how I would manage to give the exact same attention to a second baby and there’s just no way I’d be able to. I then think z will be old enough for friends and nursery by then. Hope it goes really well tomorrow!
Thank you for your lovely comment 🙂 x
What an exciting new milestone for Burton. I’m sure he will love nursery. It’s just us mummies who find it hard to let go. I still haven’t left Amy with anyone because I can’t bear the thought of not being with her and knowing what she is up to, so I’ll guess I’ll be a mental wreck once she’s old enough for nursery. That’s at least another 3 years away, isn’t it??? Good luck for tomorrow. I’ll be thinking of you x
Thank you Carolin – you are right it is me that will find it hard letting him go, but he will get so much out of it. x
oooh good luck to you both although I’m sure Burton won’t need it – when my Mum left me I cried my eyes out for about 5 seconds but she had to go before I stopped, she thought I was distraught all morning when apparently I had a great time!
I’m nervous about sending Leo particularly because they only speak to them in Greek and I worry for him, I’d love to be able to send him now before he HAS to go in September (which will be full time) but we can’t afford it. I feel bad as he’s the only one out of all his friends that doesn’t go yet.
It isnt cheap – £4.30 per hour plus £1.50 for lunch but after august we will get some financial assistance. Am sure Leo isnt mussing out and just make most of the time you 2 have now before the baby appears xx
Good luck this morning! I am sure that Burton will take to it like a duck to water. It sounds as if he’s already excited about it and that’s a great start. I think it is sometimes harder on us leaving them than it is on them!
Thsnk you – he was fine when i left so relieved 🙂 x
ahh don’t feel guilty about it at all, it will be good for you both. Burton will love it. I know Jack absolutely loves going to pre-school and gets upset on the days that it’s not open & he can’t go! You have no reason to feel guilty at all, you have definitely not failed him. You are a great Mum & do loads with the boys but it gets more difficult as their needs change and they want to do different things.
He will have a great time & it will give you chance to spend some time with Jenson too
xx
Thanks Helen – they all have to do it eventually i know ! He was fine when i left him and he is prob bossing them as i type this lol!! He will get so much out of it and its only 4 hours i know! Still done it now xx
Good for Burton, I say! Don’t feel guilty in the slightest, you are talking 4 hours a week. Little Miss G does 4-6 hours a week in a creche in 2 hours sessions (mainly 1 and half as we are always late) and she truly loves it! She is much younger than Burton, but copes fairly well with goodbyes (there is always a tear or two, but she re-settles quickly). What the creche does for her is exposing her to 3 and 4 years old whom she totally adores! She has learned to use chalks an an easel and does stuff that we could not do at home. it’s great for her. She is also exposed to a germ or a million which doesn’t help her asthma, but we are not talking all day long and it is kind of good to be amongst the common cold and what not, so that hopefully she’ll build up a little bit of resistance to these bugs. I would not send her to an all day nursery, but I think 4-6 hours a week is a great compromise. I hope Burton will love it!
(Good luck you, it is hard to see them independent and not needing us) x
Thank you for commenting 🙂
I know that children much younger go – your Miss G is a star and adaots realky well and i know it does them good and teaches them new experiences and skills. You are right – its me who needs to learn to let him go a little xx
Well done, I hope it went well. Mother guilt is with us no matter what we do and the worst thing you can do is beatyourself up over it. They will both be fine as long as you do what’s right for you 🙂
Thank you for your comment xx
It goes so fast. He will lovely nursery. It’s harder for us I feel. I hope it all went well today and hugs for mummy x
Thank you Susan – the time flew past for me anyway x
I hope today went well for both you and Burton! C has been going to nursery on a Wednesday morning since last July . We decided to send her for similar reasons to you – so she can make friends, interact with other children and to do things I don’t do at home.
She really enjoys going every week and I do think it’s been good for her to go. It’s all good practice for September anyway!
Thank you for cOmmenting. He really seemed to enjoy it so am so pleased x
I did a similar comparison between shots on the bottom of my post like this, when did it happen so fast?
Too ruddy fast for my liking!! X