27 Comments

  1. Thats a shame that you felt like your first pregnancy has slightly sad memories, but sounds like he is a great Daddy now which is the main thing.
    My memories of finding out I was pregnant are funny!  We had been trying a couple of months but my periods were irregular- I was away on business but felt funny so I did a test and found out it was positive.  I jumped around the room in excitement and then thought ‘oh’ cause I didn’t want to tell my husband over the phone.  That was on the Sunday and I wasn’t going home until the Thursday.  It was the longest few days of my life as I didn’t want to tell my mum until I had told him.   Finally I got home and he was sitting on the sofa, I told him to close his eyes and I handed him the pregnancy test.  He was thrilled and started crying and it was just magical!  We then went out for lunch to celebrate and talk (cautiously) about the future.  x

  2. You have two gorgeous little boys and at least it all ended well. I guess sometimes the men need a little more time to get their heads around babies.  

    We had been trying for ages but just as I was about to go on a weeks long skiing course I began to feel pregnant. Husband said if I was I couldn’t go so I told him I probably wasn’t. As the week progressed it became more and more obvious I was…sleepy, hormonal, kept needing to wee etc and we did a test on the last day. We were ecstatic xx

  3. Your Jon sounds just like my DH – who once asked me, when I bought up the subject of having children – ‘Can I still go out at the weekends? To which I replied, ‘of course, but I don’t think you’ll want to!’ I also pee’d on a stick at 6am, saw a line then proceeded to jump about (spraying wee everywhere) to be greeted with a ‘I need to get up and have breakfast’. I’d never felt so lonely about a moment that I too, had romanticised either. 

    Now my two are 1 and 3 it is all a very distant memory and my DH is a loving, patient father who dotes on his children. 

    xx

  4. Aw that must have been so hard for you to deal with. I remember my husband being a bit freaked when I told him the first time. He’d just made some beans on toast and couldn’t eat them, and we were going out to a pub quiz, and I wished I hadn’t done the test til we got back because it was my first experience of doing the whole sober thing! However, I guess we’re both very lucky to have children with supportive Daddies now. x

  5. ahhh Jen, what a beautiful heartfelt post.  I know it wasnt easy for you, but you and Jon are stronger now and have the most adorable sons ever!  Sometimes the way we dream/fantasise about something happening in a certain way, never really does, but for you it has paid off in the long run.  I am so grateful to you that you asked me to be with you at the birth of both Burton and Jenson, I wouldnt have missed that for the world.  Others ….. well I guess some of us may be the perpetual Auntie!  Love, Kxxx

  6. emsyjo

    Ah bloody men!   I’m so sorry you had such a tough time with your 1st preganancy, as I was reading through there were so many similarities (again!) to us, we were ‘trying’ in exactly the same way, and had had the ‘baby chat before we got married. After a year or so Aaron said he wanted to wait, and maybe he wouldn’t mind he he never had kids. I was devastated but we stopped trying for a while and then a year or so later had another chat and started again.   I was always a little worried about telling him when it happened but luckily he was over the moon, I can imagine how it must have felt for you though.    

    Him being at the birth was a different story, still upsets me that he wishes he could turn the clock back and NOT be there!  That combined with the inital reluctance and the old excuses means we’ll unlikely to ever have another though 🙁

    Well done on writing such a heartfelt post.  (I think this is my longest ever comment!)

  7. Jennypaulin

    thank you for commenting. its nice to know its not just me who had the type of experience then! men indeed!!! its such a shame yours is not playing ball about having a second – it would be lovely for Leo to have a little brother or sister. i hope he changes his mind.
    it appears we have lots ion common doesnt it – we would get on soooo well xx

  8. Jennypaulin

    thanks my bestest friend. i am being silly i know, but you know what it was like at the time and its hard to let go completely. but i have 2 healthy and beautiful boys now so I have so much to be grateful for and new happy memories to make. being an auntie is great and my two are very lucky to count you as one, i just hope this auntie get to be a mummy one day xx love you x

  9. Jennypaulin

    i think i just imagined a scene from a romantic movie in my head and it just didn’t turn out like it in reality! as you say at lest our men are good dads now. thanks for commenting x

  10. Jennypaulin

    what are men like/??? honestly they just don’t get it especially when we are pumped full of pregnancy hormones and don’t need silly questions like that!!! its nice to meet someone else who didn’t have the full romantic finding out experience she had envisaged either. at least now the babies are free both our men are good dads – thats the mosts important thing .thanks for your comment x

  11. Jennypaulin

    i know, its about what i have now instead of the experience i didn’t have!! men can be so insensitive at time!! your experience sounds much more how i imagined it to be though  – both really chuffed at finding out. yay thats a lovely story thank you for sharing it.xx

  12. Jennypaulin

    it was a shame but maybe i am being silly elly but it just easy t what i had hoped it would be ( i clearly watch too many romantic film maybe??) and yes him being a good daddy now is the most important thing.
    your finding out story is lovely – and aww he cried that just so lovely swell. thank you for sharing your memories xx

  13. Kahanka

    Awww Jenny, you have made me cry on a Saturday morning ( it might be the pregnancy hormones as well…). This is so wrong, how cold he ever be like that? I am so happy he has chnaged his mind after seing your baby for the first time. It must have been very stressful during the pregnancy. I hope you are happy now 😉 Mirka @Kahanka

  14. jessies_online

    I have tears in my eyes reading this Jenny….I know exactly how you feel, this is my 1st & last pregnancy all rolled into one! My first was not a planned one & I got the silent serious treatment for while & all the ‘not the right time’ business…and after suffering 2 miscarriages whilst trying for a 3rd baby (his idea) he then said that he had changed his mind & didn’t want another….after almost a year of crying/shouting/pleading he relented & decided to give it (in his words) ‘one last shot’….and that last shot was all it took (thankfully!)
    Jon is so good with the boys now, I can’t believe he was like that throughout your pregnancy. He does sound very much like Matt though x

  15. Jennypaulin

    i didn’t mean to upset you Helen, bless you. gosh you had a worse time of it then me by the sounds  of it 🙁 men can be such insensitive and selfish bu**ers can’t they?? i am so sorry you suffered with 2 miscarriages . Jack was very special then to come along on your last chance saloon. 
    thats probably why they got on – they are the same!!! yikes xxx (hugs) and thank you

  16. Jennypaulin

    awww Mirka i am sorry for upsetting you but thank you for reading and commenting. it was horrid at the time but at least he loves our boys and is good to them. xx

  17. Oh Jenny, that must have been so upsetting for you, how terrible. I suspect that underlying was a hell of a lot of fear about producing a child into this world and worry about his capabilities? Glad he’s changed his attitude now, how could he not; B is so lovely.

    I also had the chat with husband early on that I wasn’t in this for a fling, I didn’t see the point in wasting time on that. Lucily he agreed, and we knew after a fortnight that we were going to get married.

  18. Jennypaulin

    i was going to mention that – but couldn’t remember if that was your hubby that looked the same – i have baaad baby brain –  lol its true we have the same type of man!!! so funny that Jack thought they looked the same!! x

  19. jessies_online

    cake twins and the same husband!! did you read the comments that we posted too? all those months ago…..

  20. Jennypaulin

    it was a horrible time and i wish it had been different. BUT he is a good dad and loves his boys very much and that was what i hoped for so not all bad eh??
    its wonderful that you and hubby ‘knew’ you were right for each other – thats really lovely awww xx

  21. emsyjo

    I know, but I really don’t know if I could cope with another – I haven’t even figured out one really! He’s got some good points – we have no space for a 2nd baby and we don’t really want to move even if we could. We don’t have enough money to look after ourselves at the moment let alone another person, and I’m 34 now.  So I don’t see how it could be possible, or sensible, I try not to think about it as I should be thankful I have one but sometimes I think wow. I’ve just got one life and I thought I’d have 2 kids – but that’s it I’m done 🙁

  22. My OH was exactly the same, my pregnancy wasn’t planned and he just didn’t want kids for at least ten years if ever and my whole pregnancy was quite stressful. He just had a really hard time accepting it and I can remember when I was 8 months pregnant having a talk with him about how it just wasn’t what he wanted at that point in his life but I was just clinging onto the fact that he would feel differently when he saw Iyla for the first time and thank god he did. From the very second he saw her he changed and he is an amazing dad. He admits now that he just thought of babies as bundles that use up all your cash and poo all the time but he didn’t realise how they would have their own personalities and be little people.Luckily it turned out okay for both of us! Bloody men! xx

  23. What an honest post. I am so sorry you didn’t enjoy your first pregnancy and the joy wasn’t shared with your partner, but it worked out so well in the end. Hugs xx

  24. sorry you had a stressful pregnancy too – it ruined it in one way for me. it could have been so much more special. like you , i just knew that once OH clapped eyes on his baby he would love it, i just wish he could have shown more willing sooner. never mind sounds like your man is a great daddy to his little girl, which is what counts in the end isn’t it xx

Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment, a virtual cup of tea and slice of cake awaits you x

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.